So some of you are probably wondering what happened to me Tuesday night.
I was innocently riding my bicycle for some exercise in the Kemah oaks sub when I was approached by a dozen paperboys. Walking hand to hand towards me, forcing me to stop my bike. I asked "Are you playing Red Rover cause I am only one person?". The Paperboy zombies said "Want to buy a Houston Chronicle?" I said "no, I do not like the Houston Chronicle!". The head paperboy said "We did not ask you if you like the paper! We asked you to buy one!!!"
I politely said "No, thank you". Well one of the kids shouted "that is not a good enough answer!" I was a little scared by this situation and attempted to ride away when they overwhelmed me with their numbers. They started throwing papers at me like they were Chinese stars. Some were leaping in the air towards me like it was a scene from Matrix. Just as they were in the progress of beating the very handsome Travis into hamburger meat, 4 girl scouts came out of nowhere to my rescue. Using their martial arts, they came to my rescue swinging their girl scout sashes as a form of nun chucks. There were newspaper boys flying to the ground like clothes on honeymoon night. The girl scouts saw I was a little injured from this altercation and offered to carry me to my house. I said "No thank you, I can walk. Don't worry about it. Thank you for helping with the very dangerous gang of newspaper boys!". The girls with very big biceps and a little facial hair said "Nonsense! We will carry you!" I couldn't do anything about it as they overwhelmed me with there strength and hoisted me and the bike over their heads and proceeded to carry me all 10 miles back home. They dropped me off and I thanked them for their kindness. I said "If there is anything I can do for you, just name it!" and started to return the bike to the garage. They said "well there is one thing! Can you buy some cookies from us?"
I said "No, thank you! I already bought like 5 boxes from the girl scouts!" Th
ey responded angrily "Well, YOU DID NOT BUY THEM FROM US!!!!". I said "Yeah, but I am on a diet and so are my friends. I do not wish to anger them by going back on our diet agreement". The head girl scout yelled through her goatee "Sir, you may have been hurt from the Houston Chronicle Biker gang but NOW YOU WILL FEEL PAIN!!!". Three girls grabbed me and held me down against the driveway concrete when the head girl scout jumped in the air (Crouching Tiger-Hidden Dragon style) and did a triple flip then landed a kick in my rib cage. They ran off after doing the damage because a very angry Lucy (our Jack Russell) came to my rescue.
This is my story and I am sticking to it!!!!!!!!!!
I was innocently riding my bicycle for some exercise in the Kemah oaks sub when I was approached by a dozen paperboys. Walking hand to hand towards me, forcing me to stop my bike. I asked "Are you playing Red Rover cause I am only one person?". The Paperboy zombies said "Want to buy a Houston Chronicle?" I said "no, I do not like the Houston Chronicle!". The head paperboy said "We did not ask you if you like the paper! We asked you to buy one!!!"
I politely said "No, thank you". Well one of the kids shouted "that is not a good enough answer!" I was a little scared by this situation and attempted to ride away when they overwhelmed me with their numbers. They started throwing papers at me like they were Chinese stars. Some were leaping in the air towards me like it was a scene from Matrix. Just as they were in the progress of beating the very handsome Travis into hamburger meat, 4 girl scouts came out of nowhere to my rescue. Using their martial arts, they came to my rescue swinging their girl scout sashes as a form of nun chucks. There were newspaper boys flying to the ground like clothes on honeymoon night. The girl scouts saw I was a little injured from this altercation and offered to carry me to my house. I said "No thank you, I can walk. Don't worry about it. Thank you for helping with the very dangerous gang of newspaper boys!". The girls with very big biceps and a little facial hair said "Nonsense! We will carry you!" I couldn't do anything about it as they overwhelmed me with there strength and hoisted me and the bike over their heads and proceeded to carry me all 10 miles back home. They dropped me off and I thanked them for their kindness. I said "If there is anything I can do for you, just name it!" and started to return the bike to the garage. They said "well there is one thing! Can you buy some cookies from us?"
I said "No, thank you! I already bought like 5 boxes from the girl scouts!" Th
ey responded angrily "Well, YOU DID NOT BUY THEM FROM US!!!!". I said "Yeah, but I am on a diet and so are my friends. I do not wish to anger them by going back on our diet agreement". The head girl scout yelled through her goatee "Sir, you may have been hurt from the Houston Chronicle Biker gang but NOW YOU WILL FEEL PAIN!!!". Three girls grabbed me and held me down against the driveway concrete when the head girl scout jumped in the air (Crouching Tiger-Hidden Dragon style) and did a triple flip then landed a kick in my rib cage. They ran off after doing the damage because a very angry Lucy (our Jack Russell) came to my rescue.This is my story and I am sticking to it!!!!!!!!!!
1 comment:
Cool! Looks good, Trav!
MJ
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