Party

Once upon a time there lived a woman who had a maddening passion for baked beans. She loved them but unfortunately they had always had a very embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction to her. Then one day she met a guy and fell in love. When it became apparent that they would marry she thought to herself, " He is so sweet and gentlemanly, he would never go for this carrying on." So she made the supreme sacrifice, and gave up the beans. Some months later, her car broke down on the way home from work. Since she lived in the country she called her husband and told him that she would be late because she had to walk home. On her way she passed a small diner and the odor of the baked beans was more than she could stand. Since she still had miles to walk, she figured that she would walk off any ill effects by the time she reached home. So, she stopped at the diner and before she knew it, she had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home she putt-putted. And upon arriving home she felt reasonably sure she could control it. Her husband seemed excited to see her and exclaimed delightedly, "Darling, I have a surprise for dinner tonight." He then blindfolded her and led her to her chair at the table. She seated herself and just as he was about to remove the blindfold from his wife, the telephone rang. He made her promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned. He then went to answer the phone. The baked beans she had consumed were still affecting her and the pressure was becoming almost unbearable, so while her husband was out of the room she seized the opportunity, shifted her weight to one leg and let it go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of pulpwood mill. She took her napkin and fanned the air around her vigorously. Then, she shifted to the other cheek and ripped three more, which reminded her of cooked cabbage. Keeping her ears tuned to the conversation in the other room, she went on like this for another ten minutes. When the phone farewells signaled the end of her freedom, she fanned the air a few more times with her napkin, placed it on her lap and folded her hands upon it, smiling contentedly to herself. She was the picture of innocence when her husband returned, apologizing for taking so long, he asked her if she peeked, and she assured him that she had not. At this point, he removed the blindfold, and she was surprised!! There were twelve dinner guests seated around the table to wish her a "Happy Birthday"!!!

What Someone Said Someone Said

I first heard this piece of advice about 10 years ago from a gifted Christian leader. He was speaking at a Bible conference and in the course of his message advised us to “never repeat what someone said someone said.” It only gets you in trouble.

This is especially important advice when you are angry and in the midst of some sort of relational conflict. It could be at work or at church or with a friend or in some professional context or it could be within your extended family. The speaker recounted an occasion when he had been part of a bitter church controversy, the exact details of which he did not share because that didn’t matter. It was evidently about personalities and programs and decisions and power and which way are we going and who will lead us and how will we get there? The usual things Christians fight about. In the midst of the controversy, the speaker said he broke this rule one time and one time only. He repeated something that someone said someone said. Only he didn’t quite get the story right. Perhaps it wasn’t relayed properly or in context. But he passed the quote along as the truth because that’s what he thought it was. And it blew up in his face in a big way. Someone called him on it and he had to go back and apologize and try to make things right.

It was a difficult and embarrassing time for him.

Never repeat what someone said someone said. Why is this such good advice?
–Because you may not have the full story.–You probably don’t have the context of whatever was said.–You weren’t there to observe the body language of what was said.–If you are angry, you will be tempted to put the worst possible context on what was said.–The person relaying the information may have an axe to grind, maybe there in the mood to put those karate lessons to good use.–You may be guilty of passing along a bad report to those who don’t need to hear it.–You may gain a reputation as a talebearer or as a gossip.–If the information is not correct, you may face serious consequences, possibly lose friends and create unrepairable bridges! (Been there, done that and not fun!)
And mostly we shouldn’t do this sort of thing, especially when we are angry or hurt, because it corrodes our own soul & contaminates everything (How can we ask God to use us when we have this poison in our system!).

Guard your heart.Set your mind on things above.Think on those things that are pure and lovely and of good report.
The heart is a fragile thing. Once filled with anger, it is hard to fill it again with love. We can abide in Christ or we can abide in gossip, but we can’t do both at the same time.

I suppose we have all occasionally repeated what someone said someone said (Are you confused yet). But let this be the last word. If you are angry or hurt or in the middle of a conflict, DON'T DO IT! Let those who actually heard what was said repeat it–and let them be held responsible for whatever they say.

When you are angry, hold your tongue

and guard your heart.

And don’t repeat what someone said someone said.